|
"Our Words Are A Work In Progress" Sermon Delivered By Reverend Richard E. Stetler – September 16, 2012 Centenary United
Proverbs 1:20-33; James 3:1-12 This morning our
lesson comes from the Book of James where the author is tutoring his
readers about how they use their words.
In fact, he tells them that they should seldom choose the
teaching profession because they will be held to a much higher standard
than others. He wrote,
“Just think how a large fire can be set by a tiny flame.
Your tongue can quickly become
like that tiny flame.”
(James 3:5) The author is very
pessimistic about the level of his reader’s verbal skills.
He wrote, “No one has ever been
able to tame the tongue. It
is evil and uncontrollable, full of deadly poison.
Our words of thanksgiving and cursing pour out from the same
mouth.” (James 3:8f)
When we think about it, those words serve as a fairly accurate
description of what many of us experience today.
Of course, we also know that the tongue is only
a barometer that reveals
the weather conditions inside
of us. Many of us do not
focus on our communication skills once we have learned how to talk.
We often learn a number of verbal expressions from our parents
that are less useful than others.
A number of us never had articulate role models in our
background, people who would have corrected us or helped us choose
better words to express ourselves. There
are times when we cannot control what we say.
We have to understand that. After my parents moved into a senior living facility, my mother volunteered in the health care center. She frequently visited one man who had progressive dementia. One day when she entered his room, the resident greeted her with angry and scolding words. He used every expletive you can imagine. He told her to get out of his room and never bother him again. She said, “Mr. Jensen, I see that you are not having a good day today, I’ll come back at another time.” One of the nurses heard the disturbance and said, “Mrs. Stetler, have you been thrown out of Mr. Jensen’s room again?” She said, “We all have our moments. He’ll be better tomorrow.” He often was better the next day. In spite of our
level of skill in using our words, we also know that listeners have an
equal amount of control over what they hear.
My mom said, “We all have our moments” because she had
understanding. However, if we are easily hurt, or have social causes
that have heightened our sensitivities, we will hear words that can
easily inflame our emotions. In our current
political climate, people do
pay close attention to the words spoken by public officials.
Because we are living in an age that stresses the “political
correctness” of our language, candidates no longer can be casual with
their comments among people that hold differing opinions very
passionately. For example, after
the recent destruction this week in An admiral in the United States Navy lost his command of the Pacific Fleet because he said, “As long as we have women on our ships, we are going to have pregnancies.” That comment inflamed the passions of a number of prominent people. The offending listeners brought pressure on the Navy to remove him from his position. They succeeded. Not long after he publically said those words, the Navy relieved him of his command. There have been
scores of people who have lost their jobs, been demoted or shifted to
another position because of what they said.
One would think that with so many high profile people
falling from grace, that it
would inspire us to train ourselves to choose our words more carefully. The specialists who
coach the chief executive officers in the business world continue to
teach a cardinal rule:
“Three quarters of your job is communicating effectively to your
people.” That is also true
for the rest of us. Is it
too late to get started at polishing our communication skills?
If Jesus were
brought into this conversation, he would teach us that the task of
communicating effectively is easier than we might think.
He might say:
You can become a
fine communicator if you think about what you are going to say before
you speak. With training,
you can become a verbal technician that always knows how to choose
the correct words to use.
The Pharisees learned this wisdom extremely well.
Or, you can develop a spirit
that wants to communicate support, compassion, empathy, praise and
kindness. When your spirit is expressing these qualities to others, your
expressions of love will be felt and heard by your listeners.
This will be particularly true if you become a teacher. However, being the
limited human beings that we are, there are times when our actions speak
louder than our words. We
become annoyed by what other people say and do. I have enjoyed the
editorials that appear in the
Royal Gazette written by the
Grumpy Old Man. Not
only is he funny, but he also brings social awareness to issues about
which many of us have a similar opinion.
For example, he has
mentioned his lack of fondness for cell phone users who share their side
of a conversation so loudly that people all around them are forced to
overhear their business.
Sometimes this happens while people are seated on a bus or trying to
enjoy their meal in a restaurant. Most
of us know the annoyance he is describing. All around us every
day people are using whatever verbal skills they have.
Some of them are very good.
Others are more verbally challenged.
We have to be prepared to
accept other people just as we find them.
Our attitude about them will not change how they talk.
What we can do is refuse
to become emotionally controlled by what other people say.
Such experiences can be a teachable moment for us each time it
happens. When we no longer personalize
the behavior and attitudes of others, we may find ourselves being able
to sit back and enjoy
the show that other people provide.
For example, a
couple of years ago while traveling to a meeting in Out of no where a
third driver sped around me as well.
I believe he had been offended by the pair somewhere behind me
that I did not see. He
pulled up along side both drivers, lowered his window, blew his horn for
a sustained period of time and gave the drivers a hand gesture.
He was absolutely furious!
As he passed me, however, I noticed his bumper sticker that read
“Jesus is Lord.” As my mother said
to that nurse, “We all have our moments.”
And the truth is that most of us do. Even Jesus had his moments
when his words were less than complimentary.
Chapter 23 of Matthew’s Gospel is filled with some rather harsh
comments about people who were among the most religious-minded of his
day. While he may have
felt that his judgments were justified, Jesus probably was not pleased
with himself any more than the driver of the car who had personalized
the actions of the other two drivers.
He had literally stooped to their level of behavior in the same
reckless manner. We all
have our moments of frustration. Many times Jesus
went off into the hills, probably to ventilate his frustration to God
about how little progress he was making in the lives of others.
There were times when Jesus got up in the morning, ahead of
everyone else, so he could be alone with God.
(Luke 4:42) Perhaps
he was asking God for strength so that he might teach having greater
patience with others through his own attitudes and behavior. There is so much
that happens to us during the course of an average day that tries our
patience. Just think.
Every morning, if we were so inclined, we could focus our minds
and emotions on reinventing ourselves before we venture into the world
that tests our resolve of being an
angel in the flesh.
We can have “Jesus
is Lord” on the bumper of our car, but when our behavior and attitude
communicates something else, we need to realize instantly, I have just
stooped to someone else’s level of immaturity.
We need to let go of our passion of the moment so we can respond
with less drama.
We wish religious extremists all
over the world would understand that loving responses to insults would
give a remarkable testimony to the power of their faith.
Responding with violence, death and destruction sends a very
different message. One day I was in an
express line of a grocery store with 12 items and the sign above the
cash register clearly said, “10 items or less.”
There was no one in line so I thought the cashier would not mind.
Well, she did mind.
She said, “Sir, you have 12 items, can’t you read that this is an
express line with a limit of 10?”
My immediate
response was either to personalize her words as an inappropriate
response from a store employee to a customer or I could detach from her
response and assume that something else might be going on in her life
that had nothing to do with my breach of the rules.
I responded with,
“You are right. I do have more than ten items.”
She froze, bit her lip and began to tear up.
She said, “I am so sorry I said that to you.” She hesitated as
more tears rolled down her face. She began again, “My dog, that has been
my companion for the past 14 years, died in my arms this morning.
The store manager would not give me the day off.”
There still was no
one else in that express line and that exchange permitted a healing
moment to take place between the two of us.
Her comment to me provided an
opportunity to practice having patience.
Suppose her dog had not died and this was the spirit she brought
to work with her every day.
We must learn to let go of someone’s personality style when it is
radically different from our own.
This is our opportunity to show them what we have inside of us. The author of James
was accurate when he said, “Our words of thanksgiving and cursing pour
out from the same mouth.”
In truth, each of us can easily be that way because our words and
attitudes are a work in progress.
We need to be patient with ourselves while our spirits continue
to evolve. When we are hostile
and angry, our emotions can easily tarnish
the
halo we could be wearing as
angels who happen to be
living in physical form at the moment.
Our task is one of taming the
temperament of our inner world, so that our
angel shows up all the time.
One day that
angel will be the only
identity we have when we leave this world.
Perhaps it is time for us to consider all the years God has given
us to practice displaying the patient spirit we wished everyone had. |