"Rejection!  What Rejection?"

Sermon Delivered By Reverend Richard E. Stetler – June 30, 2013

Centenary United Methodist Church

Galatians 5:16-25; Luke 9:46-55

    This morning we are going to touch on a theme which all of us have experienced – being rejected.  It does not feel good when someone turns away from us or turns us down.  We find ourselves living in a world where not all the doors open when we knock.

    There are relationships that do not work no matter how much we try.  There are job applications submitted that go unanswered.  There are high school graduates that have applied to colleges only to have their entrance request denied. There are times when our company is downsizing that we receive that proverbial pink slip. 

    Citizens in the Washington, D.C. area experience something rather humorous when there is a significant snow fall.  We learn from our news sources about the closure of school systems, state and local governments.   When Federal Government workers are mentioned, we often hear these words: “Only essential employees should report to work.”  We wonder why non-essential employees were even hired.

    In Luke’s Gospel, we have an episode where Jesus was rejected by leaders of a Samarian village.  Jesus sent his advanced team ahead to make arrangements for lodging and meals.  When James and John began discussing Jesus’ imminent visit, the two were told that they would not be welcomed in their village.  As Jesus approached and received the news, the two disciples were so upset that they asked Jesus, “Lord, do you want us to call fire down from heaven to destroy them?”

    Remember James and John were part of the inner circle of the disciples.  They were the decision-makers.   Both were Jesus’ cousins and had been with him from the very beginning of his ministry.  We can only imagine what the two would have done had Jesus said, “Yes, by all means, let’s destroy everyone in the village for ignoring our needs.” 

    If we ever wonder why “love thy neighbor” is hard to do during the heat of living from day to day, here are two of Jesus ring leaders forgetting the same teaching even though they were with Jesus every day for three years.  All that Luke says about this is, “Jesus rebuked them and they went on to another village.”  What is interesting is that Jesus was ready to move on immediately while the disciples were still stuck with attitudes about their being rejected.  

    There are many reasons why we find moving on a very challenging response to make.  “I thought she or he loved me.”  “I feel used.”  “I did not see this coming and I am absolutely devastated.”   “He lied to me!  He absolutely lied to me!!!”  “I should never have applied for that position.  The people in Human Resources already knew who they were going to hire long before they asked for resumes.  They were only fulfilling the requirements of the law.”  Whatever our response, we can easily become immobilized by the flurry of drama resulting from our disappointment. 

    When we glance into the rearview mirrors of our lives, few of us could have planned the life-events that brought us to this point.  If each of us had achieved everything we initially wanted, where would we be and what would we have missed?  Without the adventure that uncertainty, failures and unscheduled detours have produced thus far, most of us would be in a very different place.  

    For example, the death of a spouse caused by a car accident where the alcohol blood level in the other driver was four times the legal limit, will cause our life to track in a vastly different direction.  Some Christians would blame God for not providing the umbrella of protection that other Christians claim to have.  Others would simply give thanks for the wonderful years they had together and move on, knowing that blame and resentment often creates two victims.     

    In fact, most of our tools of spirit developed because of struggles that helped free us from the cocoons that we typically associate with our personal security.  Faith does not save us from experiencing calamities, prolonged illnesses and family crises; faith supports us with endurance and determination while we move through life’s challenges.    

    Last week, I was sharing with Selina’s Bible study group at the Young Life Center that if the train does not stop at your station, it was not your train.  Why should we ever believe that we have been rejected?  When such moments come, we can just as easily respond, “I will continue to row my boat gently down the stream until I find a garden in which I can bloom.”

    When circumstances become difficult for us, so often it has nothing to do with where we are in life.  Plunging into the depths of despair has to do with our judgment about why we were denied something that we really wanted and needed.  I mentioned this theme last Sunday.  Our judgments about life are what build our emotional prisons or give us wings to fly.

    As all of you know, my favorite hero in the Hebrew Bible is Joseph.  He never had a problem with blaming God or questioning God’s intentions for any of his circumstances.  For all we know, Joseph’s overriding understanding had nothing to do with God’s absence from his life.  We learn from the Joseph story that everything he experienced was an opportunity to bring to each event his best character qualities and integrity. 

    Each chapter of his life was almost more challenging than the last.  His brothers sold him to a caravan of strangers.  He lost his job as the manager of a large estate.  He was accused of sexual misconduct.  He was put into prison.  He was forgotten by a person who promised to work on his release.  It is hard for us to believe that Joseph’s mood and attitude about God’s presence never wavered.   

    Joseph was able to detach completely from having any negative judgments about what life had served up for him.  Joseph was probably the first Pollyanna in the ancient world.  Are we any different from Joseph?  Would Jesus have invited his listeners to live in the Kingdom of God with the potential to respond in a like manner, if doing so was impossible?  

    Feeling rejected is a decision that we make because we want something that remains beyond our grasp.  It is likely that, once Jesus learned the villagers’ response and what his disciples wanted to do to get even, he said, “Are you serious?  You want to punish people with death for saying, ‘no’ to us?  Have you learned anything during the last three years?  Maybe you both should return to class and take Love 101 over again.”

     What was it that Jesus possessed that made him immune to developing feelings of rejection?   His identity was not dependent on the opinions or decisions of other people.  Rejection was only one interpretation of what happened with the Samaritans.  Who made that interpretation and had their feelings hurt?    James and John, of course! 

     Jesus knew that people never have to spend a moment of their lives defending the value of what unconditional love will produce in their lives.  In fact, unconditional love and feelings of being rejected cannot exist in the same space.  If this is the case, why do people become devastated when others reject them?

    Dr. Wayne Dyer told a story during one of his lectures that came right to the point.  An attorney friend called him and invited Wayne to breakfast.  They had not seen each other for a couple of years.  When the two met, Wayne was shocked at what he saw.  His friend had lost about 35 pounds.  He was letting his practice slide to other partners.  He had started drinking and was not showing up to work.  Wayne said, “What in the world are you doing to yourself?” 

     Wayne’s friend was a high-end attorney that had run into trouble with his marriage.  He came home one day unexpectedly and found his wife with another man.  Immediately, his wife said that she wanted a divorce.  She could no longer keep up with the demands of his client load, his being away for weeks at a time and all the social functions that she was expected to attend in order to maintain public relations with his cronies of the Bar Association.  She wanted their house and half of their investments.

    After realizing that his wife had no desire for reconciliation, Wayne said, “Do you love her?  He said, “Yes, I do.”  Wayne said, “Then give her everything she wants.”  His friend said, “What?  But, I’m not at fault here.”  Wayne responded,

It doesn’t matter who is at fault.  Separating partners of a marriage always point fingers.  Face it, your marriage is over.  Look at you!  You are no longer taking care of yourself.  Your practice is in terrible shape.  You are drinking.  If you love your wife and she has found love in another direction, try supporting her.  Give her more than she wants.  End this nonsense.  Your energy is flowing in a direction that will eventually destroy you.  Be happy for your wife.  Change your attitude and begin being her friend.

    This was shock-therapy at its best.  Wayne wanted his very capable friend to begin tracking more creatively than his choices were allowing.  It worked!  This was the same kind of response that Jesus gave to James and John, two men who wanted an entire village to die for rejecting them. 

    Jesus knew what many of us forget.  We are as God created us.  We are whole.  We do not need anything in this world to make us any more whole then we already are.  A wise sage once wrote, “Never let the tendrils of your heart become so entangled around anything in this world that you cannot release it immediately when circumstances require it.”

    Jesus knew that being loved by everyone is not a requirement of life.  Our life experiences are useful in helping us to enhance our spiritual abilities with attitudes that light up the world. What is so hard for us to hear and believe is that all the props used in offering us these opportunities to grow, do not exist when we leave this world. 

    Most of us can say, “God, thank you so much for being a constant presence in my life, but I really need this job, I really want him or her as my life partner and I really want to be a success in the eyes of my parents.” What we are communicating is, “God, what you have given me is not enough.  I know that I will become more whole if I get this job, secure this life-partner and become the success story of my dreams.”  Notice the flow of the energy, “I want, I need, I can’t live without this and I have to do this.” 

     The quality of our lives depends on the direction of our energy flow.  This is why Jesus was not concerned in the least if someone said, “I don’t need you.  I don’t want you in our village.”  Even when Jesus faced the High Priest and members of the Sanhedrin, people who totally rejected him and condemned him for blasphemy, Jesus remained as calm as a pond on a windless day.   The thought of getting even or hurting any of them never entered his mind.

    Rather than plunging into despondency when life is painful, try being grateful that God sees more in us than we see in ourselves.  We are as God created us.  We are whole and more than capable of being God’s representative in every circumstance.  Try to imagine how our lives would change if we could remember this every day.