Do We Really Need Recognition?”


Sermon Delivered By Rev. Dick Stetler – August 28, 2016

Centenary United Methodist Church

Jeremiah 2:4-8; Luke 14:1, 7-14

    This morning we are going to discuss one of the paradoxes about ourselves. How do we feel when we do a good job and absolutely no one says "Thank you"  or expresses any word of appreciation?  If we feel slighted or hurt, we need to understand that there are others in our world that do not feel slighted when this happens.  Our Gospel lesson finds Jesus teaching his listeners how to take the high road.   

    A Presbyterian colleague once told me about a person in his church that had stopped attending the worship services for a long time.  A friend stopped by this parishioner's home to see why he was missing-in-action.  Their discussion reveals what often happens in many large congregations. 

    "Did the pastor send you?  If he did, why didn't he come?"  The friend said, "No, the pastor didn't send me.  I came because of the empty pew in front of us where you and your wife normally sit.  We have been missing you." 

    The man responded, "I have been in the hospital for six weeks and never once did the pastor visit me." The friend said: 

You were in the hospital?  I had no idea.  I don't think anyone in the church knew that you had been in the hospital.  Someone would have said something during joys and concerns.  Did you or your wife contact the church to let the secretary know? 

He said, "I don't remember.  The pastor should know these things. If I am missing at the church, he should have reached out to me to find out why."

    We can take this issue and go in numerous directions with it.  When pastors list the names of people for their involvement in some activity and a name is inadvertently omitted, that person may feel it. On the other hand, when pastors highlight other people for their contributions, a number of them really prefer to remain anonymous.  What pastors do in these conflicting circumstances is take a couple of aspirins and try harder to anticipate the needs of their people.

    Our Scripture lessons today are very different in their interpretation of our Creator's spirit. In Jeremiah, God appears to be whining, even pouting, that his chosen people have abandoned him.  Apparently, the God that Jeremiah was referencing needed attention and praise.   Jeremiah has God say,

What caused my people to turn away from me?  I led them to a new and fertile land and they ruined what I gave them.  My priests never asked where I am.  In fact, they don't know me anymore. Rulers have rebelled against me and my prophets worship worthless idols and speak in the name of Baal.  (Jeremiah 2:4f)

    When we contrast these words from God with Jesus' teachings, we receive an entirely different understanding of God's nature.  Jesus said, "For those who make themselves great will be humbled, and those that humble themselves will be made great." (Luke 14:11) Even God has to fall into one category or the other.

          In this passage, the word humble can be translated as "Engaging in what we want to do without making a show of it."  In other words, we are making our contributions from a strong desire to do so and not because we are seeking praise, approval and congratulations for doing so.  This reflects the nature of God who sends the sunshine and rain on everyone regardless of where people are in their journey. (Matthew 5:45f)  So often we define being humble as a person who is meek, mild, reticent and shy.

    Jesus' story-telling in our Gospel lesson about where to sit at some event is not one of his clearest illustrations; however, his point is well-taken. "Don't become so confident in your self-importance that you choose to sit at the head table.  Choose instead the cheap seats.  If your host wants you at the head table, he will come and invite you to join him."

      Numerous psychological tests have proven beyond a shadow of doubt that seventy-eight percent of everyone living in the United States, Canada and European countries are externally motivated. 

    This means that most of us have our emotions and self-esteem anchored to external experiences, e.g., our need to be satisfied in our marriages, our need to have our children become successful in their lives, and our need for approval from others.  For most of us our peace of mind and happiness are dynamically connected to what is happening in our external environment.        

    There are two kinds of people in our society -- those who need to feel they are valued by others and a much smaller minority that do not need the approval or recognition by anyone to continue their search for places to be of service.

    One of the earliest funerals in my career happened while I was in seminary.  In fact, it might have been my first.  I was like a seed that had sprouted its first green shoots.  The deceased's son was in my youth group so I was asked to officiate.  The family gave me what I thought was adequate information.  He was a wonderful person who had been a Vice President of the Marriott Corporation.

    Weeks later after the memorial service, his son, Bobby, told me the most remarkable things about his dad.  Every year his father gave a full scholarship to any college or university to a student that showed great promise but who had no financial means to continue his or her education beyond high school.  He had made substantial donations to numerous charitable organizations.  He sat on the Board of Directors of two major Fortune 500 Companies.  And to top it off, the entire Marriott family had been present at the service.

    I felt like I had been a complete and utter failure to the family and to the memory of this marvelous spirit whose quality of life I had all but ignored.  What I said during the service did not cover even the tip of the iceberg.  I said, "Bobby, why didn't you or your mother share this information with me during my visit?"

    Bobby was very gracious in answering my questions.  He said:

Everyone at the funeral knew my dad. There would have been no point to reciting my dad's accomplishments.  Dad would not have wanted that.  You spoke to the living, Dick, and you gave to everyone what a number of us needed to hear.   

    While Bobby was very kind in his recall of his father's memorial service, I did not recover from that experience for decades.  For me, it was a real faux pas.  As the years passed, however, I got more in touch with the inner-directed spirit demonstrated by Bobby's dad. 

    I had been living in the category of being externally motivated, i.e., I worked very hard in writing my prayers and sermons rather than consulting books and what others had written. A hidden motivation was the hope that I would receive something from people that would tell me that my words mattered to them. 

    Bobby's dad was one of those angels-in-the-flesh who was doing what he wanted to do.  He had no ego-investment attached to his identity or the outcome of the seeds he was sowing. What he did was satisfying to him and that was his sole motivation for helping.   

    This was the main point that Jesus was making about why it was wise to choose one of the cheap seats in the back rather than moving directly to the head table.  Being inner-directed himself, Jesus taught and healed from a humble spirit, often telling people not to tell anyone how they were helped.  Jesus drew attention to himself because of his revolutionary ideas. Religious spies followed him around.

    We seldom think of Jesus as a radical revolutionary, but he was.  He ignored traditional beliefs by teaching new ideas.  He spoke of life-style changes that were unconventional by placing a person's authentic desire above a disciplined life of obedience to the Law. He also told his listeners that the clergy were more like a group of blind guides leading other blind people. (Matthew 15:14)  Obviously, Jesus was not a pleaser nor did he care about the popularity of his message.

    If all of us could describe the spirit by which we live, how would we characterize ourselves?  There can be no question that inner-directed people enjoy approval, standing ovations, congratulations and awards.  The difference is that such people do not need such recognition to motivate them toward excellence in what they do.

    Voltaire, the French writer during the Age of Enlightenment, published a book entitled, Candide in 1759.  He ended this literary masterpiece with advice to his readers, "You have to cultivate your own garden."  The spirit in which we cultivate our garden makes a remarkable difference in how we feel about ourselves and what it is that we want to do to make a difference in our community, nation and world.  

    It does not matter that three quarters of human beings are in the other camp from those that are motivated by desire that is not connected to recognition.  Jesus was leading people to live in the Kingdom of God.  Countless people have a lot of understanding about the characteristics of such a life, but the quality of our lives has little to do with what we know; it has to do with how we feel emotionally.

    Each one of us is a living miracle.  Our age does not matter.  We are always changing as we grow in spirit.  We will continue to do so forever.  Some people live for ninety-five years while others live one year ninety-five times. 

    When we leave the cocoon of our caterpillar and learn to fly, somehow the opinions of others lack the influence they once had. This is growth. This is being inner-directed. Jesus asked his listeners to follow him.  Are we doing that with confidence and with the understanding that little else matters?